Forgiveness
by Chibi-A
Summary: Back again! This takes place just a few days after Ken finds Leafmon (wrong name?). Can he be forgiven for what he had done? Or will I just mess with his mind?


Read and Review! I don't own nothing!  
  
*** Forgiveness ***  
  
I'm not sure if the Digital World will ever forgive me. The things that I've done...I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I've taken over the Digital World...killed innocent Digimon...killed my own partner, even.  
  
But...Wormon has forgiven me. Davis, one of the Digidestined, has even been trying to get the others to forgive me.  
  
But I'm not sure. There is something...something that makes me feel as if something else must forgive me before I can even start to forgive myself.  
  
So I've decided to come back to the Digital World...my first time back since I found Leafmon. Speaking of whom, I left him home. I didn't want to bring him into this...not after what I've done...  
  
I now see the Digital World in a different light. Life is every where, and this time, I want to watch it, not destroy it. I am so different now...my entire point of view has changed.  
  
I walk through a forest and the light shines through the leaves of the trees, making small patches of light here and there on the ground...  
  
But I stop. I feel dirty. As if I don't belong in such a place. Not a week ago would I of distroyed all of this.  
  
I don't belong.  
  
'But you do...' A voice says to me.  
  
To the small voice, I say; I don't. I killed innocent living creatures. I distroyed places like this. I was evil.  
  
'You were evil?' The voice questions.  
  
Not just evil. I was horrible. I was...a monster.  
  
'What were you before you were evil?' The voice continues.  
  
I don't know. I think about that question for a few moments before I answer. I was the barrer of my crest, Kindness, I answer, And that is what I was.  
  
'And what were you when you turned 'evil'?' The voice asks me.  
  
I think...I think I lost the kindness. It dissipeared. It only reappeared when Wormon showed me how...much of a monster I was.  
  
'And now what are you now?'  
  
I...don't know. I'm not sure.  
  
'You are not sure?' The voice says, as if telling me 'you don't think the sky is blue?'.  
  
I'm...different then the monster, I suppose. But I'm also different then the kind one I was before the monster.  
  
'Really now? Do you suppose that you feel both the kindness and the lessons you have learnt from the monster?'  
  
What the voice asked me made sense, after I thought it out. Sure, I say. I guess that's right. I now feel the kindness I had lost...yet I know what I have done wrong.  
  
'You sound like a child who has made a mistake and has paid for it.'  
  
Mistake? I question the voice. Mistake! What I did was no mistake. I knew what I was doing, even though I was not myself while I was doing it. What I did was terrible. What I did was unforgivable.  
  
'Then why do you yern for forgiveness?'  
  
Because even if I feel like I should never be forgiven for what I've done, a small peice of me would like to have that forgiveness.  
  
'Which peice of you wants the forgiveness? The peice of you who is afraid of the monster within yourself? The peice that is punishing it'self because it feels sorry? Or is it the peice that cannot forgive it'self?'  
  
The logic of the voice confuses me, yet it makes perfect sense. To the voice I say; Each of the peices.  
  
'From what I see,' Says the voice. 'Those three peices make up most of what you are at this point in time.'  
  
I don't answer the voice. It is right.  
  
'What you did was not of your doing, but of the doing of others. The evil you caused was not your evil, but just the product of another evil that entangled you.' The voice is quiet for a second, then continues. 'You never had a choice in the entire matter. It was as if you were a puppet, which you were.'  
  
I was a...puppet?  
  
'You believe that you did everything your 'monster' did of free will, yet everthing you did was not of free will. You were just a tool used. The monster, just a way to lock the kindness inside a box deep within your mind...you were used.'  
  
This takes time to sink in. What the voice said changed everything. Everything I did...wasn't my fault?  
  
'None of it was. No one else, not even the one who wears goggles and you think is extremely strong willed would not have been able to withstand the evil who captured you.'  
  
I'm...not to blame.  
  
'If anyone is to blame, it is I, and I alone. I could have found a way to stop everything from happening.'  
  
I now become causious. Who are you? I ask the voice.  
  
'Um...duh, this is Amelia, Queen of The Evil Purple Fish, Jelly Donuts, and the Digiworld, also know as Chibi-A...wait...who is this?'  
  
I'm Ken.  
  
'Oops! I'm supposed to be talking to Kouji! Sorry!'  
  
What? I'm confused...you said something about a person wearing goggles...that's Davis.  
  
'No...I was talkin' about Takuya...eep, I'm gonna be in trouble, I was supposed to make Kouji all happy inspite of his little 'twin' problem...watch Kouji be blown up or somethin'...'  
  
Blown up!?  
  
'Yeah...gotta go! Buh-bye!'  
  
And then the voice dissipeared, leaving me extremely confused. But... It also left me forgiveness...  
  
After all...if that crazy ((Chibi-A:crazy!?!?)) voice was really the 'Queen of The Evil Purple Fish, Jelly Donuts, and the Digiworld', then he had truely been forgivin by the Digital World it'self.  
  
***  
  
A little Ken angst every once in a while is good for you!  
  
Ghost of Mini Moose (muh muse!): Really now? And using spell check would have been hard? Um...yeah. Review? ((aha! I made a cameo!! I appeared...or...well...was heard!)) 


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